ES EL E E PI

It’s already past midnight, a minute to be exact, but I am still awake. Wide awake, despite from the plan to sleep earlier than usual yet I am still blogging here. I think I should get off everything that is bothering me for the past few days. Just leave if you don’t wanna hear me ranting again, but if you do, then here we go.

There has been so much pressure that I am dealing with. First, I can’t just back out from the planned vacation, I am having some financial crisis on going so I am a little tight on my budget. I just do hope that it will pays off, and it should not be just good, but be the best! Next is that my schedule for this week sucks. Work is work so I’ll cut it here. Aside from that, I am not getting enough sleep and I am losing weight, again! Damn. I dunno what really is bothering me, for sure, i can’t sleep well. Not even on our office during our break which i usually do, but lately, not even a soothing music could give me a power nap. Guess that’s enough for ranting.

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A Facebook Conversation: Raw

Amy
may tanong ako..

36 minutes ago
GK
shoot it

36 minutes ago
Amy
ano pwedeng dahilan kung bakit di mo maiwan gf mo pero meron ka ng kinakasama.. na mahal mo na lagi na kayo magkasama pero may gf ka pero di mo na tlga gusto ung gf mo pero di mo magawang iwan.. sa tingin mo ano mga posibleng dahilan..kahit ilan na naiisp mo

34 minutes ago
GK
ahaha, dunno. never been into such scenario. though, if ever that i will be doing that, it will all be just a lie. I mean, that girl that i am dating will be just my bitch. haha.

sorry for the term.

34 minutes ago
Amy
ganun.. kahit ginagawa mo lahat para sknya pero ung totoo mong gf, tinataguan mo ayaw mo mag pakita, naiinis ka sknya

33 minutes ago
GK
hindi lahat, come on jane, leave that guy. nakatali na yan, kya tinataguan at hindi maiwanan.

33 minutes ago
Amy
yun nga e. pangalawang beses na to muka ba akong laging kabit

33 minutes ago
GK
may laman na yon, kya it’s not a good idea.

33 minutes ago
Amy
alam kong nasakin lahat ng oras nia e

32 minutes ago
GK
come on,
break up with that guy.

32 minutes ago
GK
he’s not worth your time.

32 minutes ago
Amy
ang sakit naman

32 minutes ago
GK
yea, reality bites.
*hugs*

31 minutes ago
Amy
hehe, ewan ko .. hanggat masaya ako itutuloy ko pero un lang

31 minutes ago
GK
don’t be stupid. tama na yan.

31 minutes ago
Amy
geezz

30 minutes ago
GK
let that reason alone be your reason.

30 minutes ago
Amy
im with him today nasa ibaba lang sia ng house

30 minutes ago
GK
oh well, if that’s what you want, i can’t do anything, but as
friend, i am telling you, that will give you no good.

30 minutes ago
Amy
thanks a lot.. alam ko naman simula’t sapul e alam kong nakatali siya..

29 minutes ago
GK
the deeper it goes, the more it will hurts in the end.

29 minutes ago
Amy
kaya sinusubukan ko na kung kaya nia mag sakripisyo lahat lahat
nakikita ko naman effort nia pero

29 minutes ago
GK
and?

29 minutes ago
Amy
may dahilan sia kung bakit di niya maiwan

28 minutes ago
GK
kasi da w?

28 minutes ago
Amy
pero siguro kausapin ko na lang sia mamaya di nia alam pano iiwan

28 minutes ago
GK
haha,

28 minutes ago
Amy
pero sa isip ko pede mo naman sabihin na

28 minutes ago
GK
may reason yon na ayaw nya lang sabihin.

28 minutes ago
Amy
“break na tayo, dahil ayaw ko na sayo” pede naman ganun

27 minutes ago
GK
oo,

27 minutes ago
Amy
siguro nga…

27 minutes ago
GK
tinatago nya lang sayo. have you met the girl?

27 minutes ago
Amy
pede din sbihin na , we’re not meant to be, i found someone else
better than u HAHAHA hindi pa.. pero nakita ko na sa facebook

26 minutes ago
GK
and?

26 minutes ago
Amy
in a relationship?
hahaha

26 minutes ago
GK
ahaha

26 minutes ago
Amy
ngayon di ko alm dapat kong maramdaman

26 minutes ago
GK
come on. stop that bullshit.

26 minutes ago
Amy
hehehehe..
sarap mag hot spring later, papalunod ako HAHA

25 minutes ago
GK
sabihin mo, break na muna kayo. ahaha

25 minutes ago
Amy
and then?

25 minutes ago
GK
or break na kayo

25 minutes ago
Amy
hahahaha!

25 minutes ago
GK
then if you like him that much, sabihin mo rin na, balik ka kapag
maayos na ang lahat.

25 minutes ago
Amy
huhuhu

25 minutes ago
GK
then wait.

25 minutes ago
Amy
kasi ganito hindi daw din sia sigurado sakin

24 minutes ago
GK
for at least a week. kapag wala. he’s just making a fool out of you.

24 minutes ago
Amy
kunwari, iwan nga daw nia gf nia, tapos pag dating sakin iiwan ko
lang din daw sia, sabi ko sige bbgyan kita panahon na napapatunayan ko sarili ko sayo

24 minutes ago
GK
oh come on. ano ginagawa nio? flirting each other while you’re
hurting somebody?

24 minutes ago
Amy
ganun din naman sia
un nga e sabi ko saknya babae ako, alam ko ung feeling nung gf mo

23 minutes ago
GK
and see, sya pa tuloy ang nagmumukhang kawawa.

23 minutes ago
Amy
kaya kapag nalaman nia tong nangyayari
ewan ko… pareho din naman silang nag gagaguhan nung gf nia

23 minutes ago
GK
and you like that guy. in the end, kapag nakakita sya ng mas maganda sayo, he will, eventually, do the same.

23 minutes ago
Amy
ewan.. may gayuma nga daw sia ika nga ng mga friends nia no..
marami akong kilalang naging chix nia, better and prettier than me.

22 minutes ago
GK
you get that? maybe, before mo makilala yan, ganyan din ung
situation ng gf nya.

22 minutes ago
Amy
un ung sinasabi ko sknya sabi ko, pano kung ok na, gagawin mo din ba sakin ang ginagawa mo sa gf mo ngayon

22 minutes ago
GK
and i know that you don’t want that.

22 minutes ago
Amy
sabi niya hindi

22 minutes ago
GK
love is not always about martyrdom. sa ngayon, sasabihin nya hindi
pero darating ang panahon na mangyayari at mangyayari din yan

21 minutes ago
Amy
siguro , antayin ko n lng ung time na yon.. at least handa na ako sa mangyayari

21 minutes ago
GK
im not poisoning the well, it’s just that, kung may gayuma sya,
then kaya nyang gawin lahat.hahaha come on jane. that’s stupidity.

20 minutes ago
Amy
hehe,. ganito ako magmahal e
natatanga
=)))

20 minutes ago
GK
and kaya ganyang lalaki lagi napupunta sayo

20 minutes ago
Amy
hindi namn..
=))
wala naman paghihinayangan sakin eh..

20 minutes ago
GK
sorry for being straight forward.

19 minutes ago
Amy
ok lang

18 minutes ago
GK
come on. maraming lalaki dyna.

18 minutes ago
Amy
pare pareho kayo sinasabi marami nga lalaki jan, eh mahal mo ba
di ko alam may mga nanliligaw din naman sakin pero di ko lam bakit di ko sila gusto kahit matagal na panahon na

17 minutes ago
GK
buti na lang di ako nanliligaw. haha

17 minutes ago
Amy
may times na, kahit di pa nanliligaw, tapos bgla mong gusto na, un pala may gusto na din sayo sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, akala ko nung una, playtime ko lang tlga siya, pero di ko magawa kasi d namn ako ganun, pero saknya ko binubuhos oras ko kapag may extra time lahat ng nanligaw sakin at alam kong maygusto sakin, tinext ko na may bf ako kahit wala =))) kasi gustong gusto ko na sia that time

16 minutes ago
GK
haha.

15 minutes ago
Amy
nag paalam pa ako sa knya na pede ba sabihin ko na sa knilang may
bf ako, para di na ako guluhin? pumayag naman, ..minsan nalulungkot ako na kapag pinapakilala ako sa friends nia. si
“amy” pala. pero di sinasabi na si amy pala GF ko! =)) now i know
lol

15 minutes ago
GK
haha

14 minutes ago
GK
yea
kasi hindi ka naman nya gf
playtime is playtime

13 minutes ago
Amy
yun nga eh.. di ko pa narinig sa knya yun,, ay,, isang beses lang
pala,. pero dinahilan nia lang sa ibang tao un.. pero sa mga
friends nia, di pa.. o siguro AUTOMATIC? lol pareho tlga kami ng nanay ko mga tipo namin laging babaero!
HAHAHHA

13 minutes ago
GK
ahaha.
ginagwa ka pa ng reason
come on
stop that

12 minutes ago
Amy
:)) yaan mo na jejejejejejejhehehejojojohohoho
=))

11 minutes ago
GK
i don’t know what’s running on your mind right now. And i don’t
even know how to convince you to stop that relationship. Sana
mauntog ka ng medyo maaga, para di masakit agad.

10 minutes ago
Amy
anong gagawin ko..kung alam kong masaya naman tlga ako sknya
parang sinasabi mo na isang sakitan na lang tapos tapos na..
pero nag kondisyon na ako sknya kung iiwan nia ako bigla, i will never chase him sabi ko

5 minutes ago
GK
oo, ganun nga, para isang sakitan na lang. It’s your gamble anyway, so kung gusto mong ituloy, then fine, just bare yourself sa mas masakit ang mararamdaman mo but if you’ll stop it right now, maybe, you’ll, in the end, realize what you missed on looking on to a guy.

Live With Happiness

What an exaggeration. Pathetic. Stuff like everything or dreams are misunderstandings that everybody makes all the time. Even without clinging into such extravagant things, as long as the small happiness and pleasures in everyday life these so-called humans seem to be able to live on just fine. Everybody will have their dreams broken and betrayed at one point. Knowing that, they can still live on, even if it means they go on to become ordinary adults, but that’s too bad either. You can live like that, too. But ain’t that reasons enough for us to keep on living?

Comfort Zone

Getting out of your box was never simple, well, maybe for those people who don’t know how to move forward, it is, but for those who seek and who thirst for greener pasture, it is plain simple. Some people who do not accept the congruency what people says around him. And honestly, I am sick with those kind of people just like my boss. Those who despise to leave their comfort zone maybe because they are afraid the place will be taken away from them. Or maybe they are afraid of the sudden changes that they didn’t anticipate to come. But why were they afraid on such things if it is for improvement? Those who stay low will stay low, those who dream high will fly.

Something To Ponder

I was chatting with this friend of mine and then i asked him if he was already dating again. He said yes, or maybe yes. Is she a schoolmate? He answered politely, no, i don’t go for girls of my age. I was about to ask him again but then he continued: i don’t want to be in a relationship who’s more immature than me, trust me, i know what I am looking for. I said, that’s cool buddy, at least you have this standard on to what you are looking for. So that’s how the conversation ended. I just realized that he’s only eighteen and I am twenty-one yet I am more immature than him. He already knows what he is actually looking for wherein i am still stuck to wilderness hooking up to whoever is available. The way I take things and the way I handle them, the way I decide, it is all so sudden, selfish and without even thinking about what happens next. What does it takes to be mature, to be able to leave the childish behavior and to act like a real man? To be a man, you need to be responsible to everything you do. It is to take responsibility over the things you decide. Well, uhmm, whatever, i don’t think that i am making any sense. I should come up with a better answer tomorrow.

But’s of Love

It’s fatal to believe into something that for sure won’t happen. Perplex with the situation that you love someone but you can’t give her all inconvenient consequence. We miss a person yet it is either we realize that we never reassured the moments when they were always there.And it left us wishing we could turn back time again or we were too happy with them, we enjoyed every single moment, that we became so used to the idea of having them around but when we finally walked separate lives, we realized that a moment spent without them is like a dying star which slowly leave the sky empty.That’s why if you love someone so much and you don’t want to lose them, never show them the “so much part”, everybody takes advantage whenever it’s available.

Loving Someone

Disclaimer: reposted from my multiply. This article is not a self-made.

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the person of deeds and not for the person of words for you will find rewarding happiness not only with someone you love but someone who loves you as well. The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn’t mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart. Do not let bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may have found peace in just loving someone from distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don’t have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me; you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don’t let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose that love doesn’t mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you and when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. “When I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more for someday, I can love someone the way that I loved you but you will never be loved the way that I did.”

Stolen Truth

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

Love Stories Dont Need A Happy Ending 6

March 4, 2011, Thursday, 10:01pm

I was on my way home, to the usual hour that I am walking alone. I always use this opportunity for me to think about everything: from my dirty shoes, to the people that are passing by, and in the end to think of you.

After tomorrow, it will then be a week since you left me.

And a week of sulking.

I should say goodbye to you.

I should accept the fact, that there are no more us between me and you. It is too farfetched to say that I wasn’t on my own after you left. I just let my body do what it was programmed to do every day. I must accept the fact that I was alone again. That I won’t be hearing your voice again, that I won’t have the chance to hear you sing Teenage Girl, Fireworks, Need You Now and The Only Exception wherein you commented that the latter was so emotional that almost made you cry, that I will not have a chance to see you again, or even the fact that I won’t be receiving any messages from you on my phone.

I know, you’ve always been special to me since the first time we met, and so I felt that I was to you. But it came to us that we have to just follow what fate had given to us. Wherein, when I thought that love can move mountains, yet I can’t do a thing to stop you from leaving.
I loved you and you loved me, but one way or the other, we should give up, because as you said, this is the best thing to do. I can’t argue with you during that moment.
I paused.

And suddenly felt the need of silence.

I was broken.

And I cried.

Unconsciously.

Tears start to flow from my eyes; I never thought that these tears will emerge again after a long time.

After a moment of silence, you asked me if I am mad.

No, I’m not mad.

But I feel sad.

So sad that these tears will always be ready to come out whenever I think of you. So sad that I will be losing someone who became very special in my life.

Right now, I am still not good, though I am feeling better. And more sober now. Beautifully broken, i guess. But I am now more thankful that you became a part of my life; that you brushed up and taught me the little things in life. I may not be hoping to meet you again, but if someday, when fate gave me another chance to be with you again, I’ll try my very best to not to lose you again.

So goodbye and thanks to you, babe.